3rd, 5th and 7th wheels
by TheMoonclaw
Summary: Holiday-fic-a-thon fic! Extra 'wheels' always got the bad end of the deal, didn't they? Prompt: Mistletoe


**Another holiday-fic-a-thon fanfiction! Don't worry, I am working on my other stories, but these are fun little breaks all the same! (If you want to do one, visit Mythweaver's profile for the all the information)**

**Prompt: Mistletoe**

**Location: Baron**

**Characters: Kain. Izayoi.**

**(for anyone who has ever complained about work while drinking...)**

* * *

Kain hated the holidays.

Well, maybe not the holidays, but he certainly hated having to attend some ridiculous holiday party.

He'd tried to get out of it, stating that no one would miss him should he not attend and that he had other things to do anyway.

Cecil had argued that _of course _people would miss him, and that whatever he felt he had to do, it could wait.

Kain had disagreed, but in the end, he had conceded when Ceodore and Rosa got involved.

Thus, he was on his way to the holiday party.

"_I'm only going for ten minutes_," he told himself, nodding decisively.

Ten minutes would be _plenty _of time to make an appearance, chat with the few people he wanted to say hello too, and then leave.

Hopefully before Palom cornered him with questions about the last seventeen years, hopefully before Ceodore could get too clingy and hopefully before Edge could start an argument by harassing him.

He rolled his eyes and paused outside the door.

The door might have well been a trap door from the sealed cavern with the glare he was leveling at it.

Inside he could hear cheerful music and grimaced.

"_Ten minutes_," Kain reminded himself.

He took a deep breath and pushed the double doors inward, trying not to make a face at the overly decorated room inside.

Surely there were only so many wreaths and garlands and lights a person could put up?

Kain paused, and noticed that no one was looking at him, so he stepped inside and carefully closed the door behind him.

If he was careful, he could sneak in and past some of the people present…

Before he could take more then three steps into the room, someone literally fell against him.

On reflex Kain reached out and caught the woman, pushing her upright and maintaining a hold on her forearms until he was sure she was stable on her feet.

It took a moment for Kain to recognize her; Izayoi, the female member of the Eblan Four, and if he believed the rumors he'd heard, the younger cousin of Edge.

"Ugh, Edge," she complained, glancing over her shoulder as he grinned at her, dropping his hand from the push.

"Payback Izayoi," Edge said smugly.

She glared at him and then frowned in confusion, glancing up and sighing.

Due to her reaction, Kain followed her gaze and saw the sprig of mistletoe perched dangerously above them.

"He's dead." she muttered under her breath angrily.

Kain frowned, "Not if I kill him first,"

Izayoi finally looked at him, as she had been ignoring him this whole time, and she tipped her head to the side, perhaps surprised by his annoyance about the situation.

True to Edge's obnoxiously persistent personality, he had to open his mouth again.

"Kain and Izayoi, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

Izayoi rolled her eyes, and Kain sighed, and as he continued to sing, she smirked and did the last thing Kain was expecting.

She kissed him. Rather intensely.

"What the hell?!" Edge commented, sounding scandalized.

Kain suddenly felt like he was in the middle of some family dispute. A dispute he would have liked to avoid.

He had enough problems without getting involved in someone else's.

This was just another reason to loathe the holidays.

It was a good full minute before Izayoi released him, and she looked over her shoulder to grin triumphantly at Edge, who was just staring with wide eyes.

She turned away and slipped around Kain, grabbing his arm as she went and dragging him with her out the door.

She giggled once on the other side of the door, and her chuckles gradually grew into full blown laughter as she slid down the wall to sit, tipping her head back.

"The look!" she said, still giggling, "The look on his face! Ha! _Priceless_!"

Kain raised an eyebrow at her but as she calmed, she declared, "Ah! Payback _indeed_!"

He couldn't help but chuckle, having to admit that yes, the look on Edge's face _had_ been priceless, and not something he would easily forget.

Izayoi exhaled happily and stood, shooting Kain an apologetic look, "I'm sorry about that. I don't think…we've officially met,"

"Briefly." he replied, "In the underground on the true moon. I'm pretty sure you didn't actually look at me, though."

Izayoi paused and then nodded, "Ah, yes, I remember that, it was very swift. I think we were about to fight something, weren't we?"

"Weren't we _always_ fighting something?" Kain asked back.

She smirked, "True."

There was an awkward pause and she hesitated, "I probably shouldn't have made you leave with me,"

Kain shook his head, "No, its fine, I didn't really want to go in the first place."

"Oh?" she said, tipping her head to one side.

He shrugged, "Parties aren't my thing. I always seem to be in the way somehow."

"Third wheels," Izayoi remarked, holding up her hands and shrugging, "I understand completely. What do you think I am here tonight?"

She looked up and down the hall, "I wanted to escape but I'm not where to go from here. It's not as if there's much to do here for me."

Kain paused and then gestured to the right, "Well, everyone is at the party, including kitchen staff, which means that the actual kitchen is woefully unattended."

Izayoi raised an eyebrow, "Really now?"

"Oh yes."

She grinned up at him, "Lead the way,"

As they started to walk, Kain had a humorous thought and smirked slightly, drawing Izayoi's attention and prompting him to explain.

"Oh, I was just musing; what is Edge going to think since we left together and aren't coming back?"

She burst out laughing again, whacking him in the arm, "Oh! We should keep _this_ going for awhile!"

"Well, let it be noted that anytime we're messing with your cousin, I'm in." Kain admitted.

Izayoi nodded, "Noted."

Kain felt compelled to ask her, "Are you two…fighting?"

"No." she said, sighing, "Well, sort of. Not exactly. I am sorry you got drug into it, though. He thinks he's _so funny _sometimes…"

"I feel for you, having to be related to him." Kain stated sarcastically.

Izayoi shrugged, "He's not all bad. Though, there are times when he drives me insane. He's gotten better since Rydia and he are _finally_ together."

Kain groaned, "Finally."

They made it to the kitchen and Kain eased the door open, making sure no one was inside. Once he was sure the coast was clear, he entered and held the door for Izayoi, who looked around at the tables littered in sweets and grimaced.

"Do you have anything that isn't made entirely of sugar?" she asked, walking by the tables with a scowl on her lips.

Kain gave her a funny look, and she sighed, explaining, "Cuore has recently discovered, thanks to Edge, the merits of sweets. We've had nothing but cookies and cakes and such in the castle for over a week."

Kain chuckled and started opening cabinets in search of food, "How is Cuore?"

"She's a funny little girl, but she's fine." Izayoi replied, hopping up backwards to sit on the edge of one of the empty tables, letting her legs swing back and forth.

Kain pulled a bottle out of one of the top cupboards and tossed it to Izayoi. She deftly caught it and turned in over in her hands as he said, "More important then food,"

"Alcohol!" she finished for him, grinning.

Kain finished gathering vegetables and dip and deposited them on the table, sparing a frown at Izayoi.

"What?" she complained, working on un-doing the top on the bottle of scotch.

"There's a chair, right there." Kain said, pointing off to the side.

Izayoi rolled her eyes, but didn't move, and finally Kain sighed and decided to be rebellious just tonight. He sat next to her and took the bottle out of her hands, trading her a glass for it, and then poured them both a good portion before declaring, "To being third, fifth, and even on occasion, seventh, wheels."

Izayoi chuckled and raised her glass, "I'll drink to that."

Kain watched her down the entire shot without so much of a twitch and blinked, not sure that he should really be surprised.

"Do you have anything stronger then this?" she asked, picking up the bottle to read the label.

"Stronger then scotch? No."

She looked mildly disappointed, and Kain shook his head at her, "Are you hoping to get wasted tonight?"

"Are you?" she shot back, glancing at him.

There was an awkward pause and he frowned, "I can't say that I was,"

Izayoi downed another glass, "Disappointing. I was hoping alcohol would make you a better kisser."

"Excuse me?" Kain said, not sure if he should be insulted or flustered by that comment, "Maybe next time you should warn me."

Izayoi slyly blinked at him, "Next time? You seem to think there's going to _be_ a next a time."

"I would never presume something like that, although I thought it was your idea to keep this up to bug your cousin?" he replied, impressed by his own quick thinking.

Izayoi smirked and held her glass out so he could pour her another, "Speaking of kissing and my cousin," she commented conversationally, "I'm rather sick of finding two certain someone's making out everywhere I go. Talk about feeling like a third wheel all the time! Those two are seriously out of control."

Kain finished his first glass and frowned, "And this surprises you?"

It didn't surprise him at all.

"Well, no," Izayoi conceded, "but it still annoys me. I mean, you two _have_ a bedroom for a reason, please, use it! Some of us would like to avoid burning our eyes."

Kain had to chuckle at her rant, and she glanced at him, annoyed, "You think it's funny?"

"I think its hilarious." he explained.

She gave a short laugh, "I suppose it is…"

Izayoi studied him for a moment, "It must be the same for you,"

It took a moment for Kain to track what she meant, and as he finished pouring himself another drink, he got it.

"Actually, it's the complete opposite." he said, sighing. "See, Cecil and Rosa won't so much as _sit_ next to each other. It's actually really ridiculous and slightly insulting."

Izayoi raised an eyebrow at him, "Well, considering…"

"Its much." he retorted dryly, "I finally had to tell them so. Not that I've noticed much of a difference. They treat me like a fragile vase that's going to shatter into a million pieces if they say or do anything."

Izayoi snorted, "At least you don't get stuck babysitting their child. I can't count the times they've left Cuore with me and scampered off."

Kain stared at her, and her lips twitched ever so slightly as he said, "Ceodore?"

She laughed and he continued, now spurred into a rant, "There are days when, I'll admit it, I want to smack him. He gets this look on his face that's like a cross between Cecil's guilty expression and Rosa's worried expression and it's all I can do not to shake him!"

"And they leave him with you?" Izayoi asked, amused.

Kain shook his head and downed the rest of his drink, "No, they don't leave him with me, but he does follow me around. He's a little…clingy."

She giggled, and he had to chuckle as well, even as he insisted, "Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I knew what it would be like, I wouldn't change it."

"Nor I," she said, raising her glass again, "I really do love my job."

She rolled her eyes, "Most of the time."

Kain snickered and finished off the scotch bottle, "Most of the time indeed."

Izayoi swirled the drink around in her glass, "Next time I'm smuggling in some _real_ alcohol. Then we can have some fun."

"Next time?" Kain teased, "You assume there's going to be a next time."

Izayoi grinned as she lifted the glass to her lips, although she didn't reply.

Kain watched her finish the rest of her drink, still amazed at how fast she'd downed it all.

"If you do smuggle anything in, I'll have to arrest you, you know. I am the captain of the Red Wings now."

Izayoi snorted, "Are you telling me I can't bribe you to look the other way?"

"Depends. What's the bribe?" he replied.

She shifted on her perch and leaned over him to grab a slice of carrot off the tray to his left, invading his personal space as she did so.

Kain held his hands up and frowned at her as she moved back to her spot, crunching into the carrot as she did so.

"I'm sure I'll think of something."

"_That _isn't going to work," he informed her dryly.

She smirked, "Fine, then I'll share the liquor with you."

"Deal, but only if it's good." Kain bargained.

Izayoi laughed and hopped off the table, announcing, "I have to go back to the party, I suppose."

She grinned and gave a little bow at the door, "This was fun, however. Thank you for playing along."

Kain nodded, "Yes, fun."

As she left, Kain realized he still had no idea what was going on, but at least whatever had just transpired was more fun then the holiday party.

Of that, he was sure.

* * *

**Author's Note: What was this? This is...pointless and surprisingly fun to write, that's what it was! **

**If you were Kain, would you want to go to this party? I wouldn't. This I know. And you must admit that certain characters are always 'wheels' in this game...no really, think about it.**

**Mythweaver and I were discussing this game once and we both came up with the amusing idea of Kain and Izayoi as a pairing. But no, really, look at this; they have the same dry sense of humor, they are both workaholics, they both get annoyed with everyone being stupid and lame around them...**


End file.
